Tomorrow is my birthday...

I'm really hoping no one wishes me a happy birthday or really recognizes it in any way.  It has nothing to do with turning 33, I'm proud to have made it another year!  I just don't want to celebrate it.

I hate being the center of attention, always have.  I'd rather just blend into the background...unless you want to talk about my awesome crochet and sewing work or my amazing kids :0)

Then there is the whole present giving aspect of it.  Geek and I decided (after Bubba was born) that we won't exchange gifts for anything...heck, we don't even celebrate our anniversary...because we both feel its just a waste of money.  As the kids have gotten older, we do take them shopping for something small from them for us for Christmas.  Last year they got their dad a small stuffed Stitch and baked him cookies; they got me a soup mug (which I use a lot.)  This year they got their dad slippers and pj pants and I got suger-free chocolates.

I keep telling everyone that I'm okay with this, but really I'm not.  I'm sick of putting myself last, but then I feel guilty and go to the end of the line again.  For example, I got $30 in a card for my birthday the other day.  Should I go buy myself something?  I should, but it's going to new uniform pants for Bubba, new knee socks for Diva, and the rest will get put on their lunch accounts.  If I spend it on myself I will feel bad every time I use/see whatever I would buy.

I got a gift card from my in-laws for Christmas to a clothing store I shop at twice a year, once in the fall for a new pair of jeans (but only if I need them) and once in the spring for a new pair of shorts (but only if I need them)...I still have $8 on it that I physically cannot spend.  There is really nothing I want.  The only reason I spent the rest was Geek made me.  I had a super hard time spending it...cause my jeans fit fine.

I would have much rather had a gift card for somewhere like Walmart...because we need new dishes and silverware.  I got a soft pretzel maker for Christmas...and I'm taking it back hoping to get new dishes with it.  It's not going to make it any easier to make them and I make them in the oven if we want them so I don't need something sitting around collecting dust.

Wow, I got a little off topic...I've been stuck in my house for 6 days, I'm a little loopy!