I have a problem with my kids having this label. You can't see their medical issues like you can with other things. They don't use a wheelchair (ok, we did have to get Diva a special needs stroller, but it looks like an umbrella stroller), they don't have braces or casts, etc.
They both kinda fall into a gray area. They aren't 100% healthy but, to us, they aren't disabled enough to be considered disabled. Sadly, if Bubba actually had a diagnosis on the Autism Spectrum there would be more resources available to him and us than there are with just an ADHD diagnosis.
I feel like we are sitting on a fence and we don't really fit on either side of it. Then there is that label...special needs....different needs...differently able...etc. I dislike all of them.
I have yet to figure out exactly why I dislike the label, but I think it may have something to do with wanting my kids to be treated like any other kid. Labels have a way of separating people.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Monday, June 24, 2013
I'm lonely, oh so lonely....
Hubbys aunt likes to have to kids for a weekend or a week over the summer. They left Saturday and we will go pick them up Friday...did I mention that she lives over an hour away? They are having a blast because they are swimming all day and spending time with their grand-aunt and 2nd cousin...two things they love.
But I have no idea what to do with myself. My house is still clean, there is no laundry to fold, no Minions begging for a snack or lunch or asking me to play games/read books/cuddle with them...I seriously have no idea what to do with myself!
I tried playing The Sims 3, one of my favorite past times, but I start getting bored after an hour or so. Probably because I never get that long to play it when the kids are home.
I tried crocheting...but, as with The Sims 3, I don't get the chance to do that for long stretches at a time either so I'm actually finishing projects faster!
I've been a stay at home mom for more than 5 years, you would think I'd be used to this down time, but I'm not. It's better than it was in the begining!
Oh, and daytime tv really sucks.
But I have no idea what to do with myself. My house is still clean, there is no laundry to fold, no Minions begging for a snack or lunch or asking me to play games/read books/cuddle with them...I seriously have no idea what to do with myself!
I tried playing The Sims 3, one of my favorite past times, but I start getting bored after an hour or so. Probably because I never get that long to play it when the kids are home.
I tried crocheting...but, as with The Sims 3, I don't get the chance to do that for long stretches at a time either so I'm actually finishing projects faster!
I've been a stay at home mom for more than 5 years, you would think I'd be used to this down time, but I'm not. It's better than it was in the begining!
Oh, and daytime tv really sucks.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Got Wrestling?
Both my kids wrestle. They LOVE it! They wrestle for our local Junior Wrestling club. Bubba just completed his second year and Diva just completed her first year.
Wait? Didn't I say both my kids have special needs (by the way, I hate that term, but more on that in another post)? How can we let them do things with "normal" kids? How can we let our daughter wrestle with boys?
First of all, wrestling is one of the best sports for kids, like Bubba, with ADHD to participate in. I read about that recently in ADDitude Magazine and wish I had saved the link. It hepls with social skills because the kids practicce as a team, but the accomplishments are personal. The kids are out there for 3, one minute periods (unless they get or are pinned)...it's all them in those three minutes.
Wrestling has also done wonders for Diva with her low muscle tone. The best example: at the beginning of the season she couldn't do a back bridge, she couldn't even hold herself up in one if the coach assisted her into getting into the position. By the end of the season, she was not only able to hold the bridge but she was able to get herself up into it! This position is fairly important for the sport as it's the best way to get out of a pin. Oh, and she was also able to make it through the entire 1.5 hour practice.
So how did they do last season? Wonderful! Bubba didn't get any pins, but he got much better as a wrestler. He was able to put what he was taught in practice to use on the mat and improved as a wrestler. Diva eventually stopped crying when she got pinned, so that's a BIG plus! How do we know they love what they do? They can't wait for next season to start!
How do we feel about girls wrestling the boys? To us it's a non issue. I know of other mothers who force their daughters to quit once they start to develop boobs, even if they are amazing wrestlers. I don't agree with this, but they aren't my kids so my opinion really doesn't matter. What will we do once Diva starts to develop? I don't know. Who's to say she will even still want to wrestle in a few years? We will cross that bridge when we get to it.
Hubby and I are so happy the kids have found a sport they are passionate about. He coaches and I'm Team Mom. Basically, we do nothing but wrestling from October-ish to March-ish...but I wouldn't have it any other way!
Wait? Didn't I say both my kids have special needs (by the way, I hate that term, but more on that in another post)? How can we let them do things with "normal" kids? How can we let our daughter wrestle with boys?
First of all, wrestling is one of the best sports for kids, like Bubba, with ADHD to participate in. I read about that recently in ADDitude Magazine and wish I had saved the link. It hepls with social skills because the kids practicce as a team, but the accomplishments are personal. The kids are out there for 3, one minute periods (unless they get or are pinned)...it's all them in those three minutes.
Wrestling has also done wonders for Diva with her low muscle tone. The best example: at the beginning of the season she couldn't do a back bridge, she couldn't even hold herself up in one if the coach assisted her into getting into the position. By the end of the season, she was not only able to hold the bridge but she was able to get herself up into it! This position is fairly important for the sport as it's the best way to get out of a pin. Oh, and she was also able to make it through the entire 1.5 hour practice.
So how did they do last season? Wonderful! Bubba didn't get any pins, but he got much better as a wrestler. He was able to put what he was taught in practice to use on the mat and improved as a wrestler. Diva eventually stopped crying when she got pinned, so that's a BIG plus! How do we know they love what they do? They can't wait for next season to start!
How do we feel about girls wrestling the boys? To us it's a non issue. I know of other mothers who force their daughters to quit once they start to develop boobs, even if they are amazing wrestlers. I don't agree with this, but they aren't my kids so my opinion really doesn't matter. What will we do once Diva starts to develop? I don't know. Who's to say she will even still want to wrestle in a few years? We will cross that bridge when we get to it.
Hubby and I are so happy the kids have found a sport they are passionate about. He coaches and I'm Team Mom. Basically, we do nothing but wrestling from October-ish to March-ish...but I wouldn't have it any other way!
professional pictures from Picture People...they do amazing work!
Diva and Bubba at a tournament
pep talk from Coach Daddy
pep talk from Coach Wayne
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Taking the Plunge!
I've decided to take the plunge. I'm going to see if I can actually make money doing something I love...crocheting.
I've tried with my sewing, but to be honest the cost of fabric makes it rather expensive for people to buy custom made items. I can make Diva a dress for about $15...but I can also buy her a dress for $15 or less. Same with making shirts for Bubba. I have found that making doll clothing is sort of proftable (well, at craft fairs at least)
Since I can take my crocheting pretty much anywhere I can crochet pretty much anywhere. Kids want to go play out back? Give me a second to grab up my yarn and a hook! Going out of town for the weekend? Let me pack some skeins and hooks!
Below are just a few of the things I have made for either my kids, my nieces/nephews, or my friends kids.
And there is many, many, many more!
Wish me luck!!!!
I've tried with my sewing, but to be honest the cost of fabric makes it rather expensive for people to buy custom made items. I can make Diva a dress for about $15...but I can also buy her a dress for $15 or less. Same with making shirts for Bubba. I have found that making doll clothing is sort of proftable (well, at craft fairs at least)
Since I can take my crocheting pretty much anywhere I can crochet pretty much anywhere. Kids want to go play out back? Give me a second to grab up my yarn and a hook! Going out of town for the weekend? Let me pack some skeins and hooks!
Below are just a few of the things I have made for either my kids, my nieces/nephews, or my friends kids.
R2D2 inspired hat
Iron Man inspired fingerless gloves
Ice Cream Cone barefoot sandals
Cupcake purse
Mickey Mouse Inspired hat
Winnie the Pooh inspired hat
And there is many, many, many more!
Wish me luck!!!!
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
He's not a "bad kid" he has a medical diagnosis!!!
A big "SCREW YOU" to anyone who still...STILL...thinks ADHD isn't real. Is it over diagnosis, probably, do some parents use it as an excuse for their shitty parenting, you bet. But my son has an actual diagnosis, from actual medical professionals.
We spoke with our family doctor about some issues he was having at school. Did his teacher bring it to our attention, yup. But she spends hours every day with him so of course she would mention it to us. It wasn't "your son is a bad kid he needs meds" it was "he's having some troubles in class, you may want to bring them up with his doctor next time he goes." None of these issues were a surprise to us, we were noticing them at home.
Luckily, he had a well-child check up not too long after that so we spoke with his doctor. The doctor (whom we feel is a GREAT doctor) felt we should see someone in the Behavioural Health Department at the local children's hospital...and I'm glad we did!
After over 4 hours of testing, interviews with his teacher at the time, interviews with us...he was diagnosed with ADHD/combined type. That means he has the inattentive and hyperactive types. He was almost diagnosed on the Autisim Spectrum but, in the doctors words, "he is WAY too sociable"
Yeah, not really sure why that exclueded him as I know some very sociable autistic people but so be it.
Oh, and he is HIGHLY inteligent. Reads and does math 2 grade levels above his actual grade level (yeah, he went up that extra half a grade level since the last post). Scored in the 99.9 percentile in the visual/spacial reasoning portion of the test. Oh, and they want the test repeated in 18-24 months after the initial test. Why? Because they think the current number it low due to his ADHD and impaired fine motor skills.
So I didn't go to our doctor and tell them he refused to sit still and focus and insisted he needed meds. Trust me, the last thing I wanted to do was put him on another medication (he already takes one for his asthma and another for his reflux) but they help him. He gets the lowest dose and we go up by very small amounts. We have incorporated non-medical things (social skills group therapy, "fidgets", positive reinforcement, etc) with small success.
He isn't a bad kid, he isn't a kid who can sit still for hours at a time (especially without something to do), and he sure as hell isn't being a brat! Don't give me a look because I don't yell at him for "acting out", he shuts down with loud noises so talking to him softly is the best way to handle dicipline with him. And he's my kid, worry about your own life!
It was a long road to get the correct diagnosis for him. Yes, I'm frustrated at the end of the day with him...I'm also mentally exhausted and have very little patience left. Want to spend a day in my life? Want to answer a million questions and hear a million stories that make no sence to you but are told with such passion that you want to understand them? Want to constantly be on alert to make sure your son doesn't hurt himself because he doesn't remember he needs to think before he does and says something? Oh, and don't forget that you still have another child who has her own special needs.
I want to get my son a t-shirt I saw, it says "Spend a day in my brain before you say I don't need meds" Truer words have rarely been spoken.
So for those doctors and parents who over-diagnosis and use the diagnosis as an excuse...thanks for making it harder on those of us who are dealing with an actual diagnosis and trying to raise our ADHD kids to not blame their disease on being a brat. Jerks.
We spoke with our family doctor about some issues he was having at school. Did his teacher bring it to our attention, yup. But she spends hours every day with him so of course she would mention it to us. It wasn't "your son is a bad kid he needs meds" it was "he's having some troubles in class, you may want to bring them up with his doctor next time he goes." None of these issues were a surprise to us, we were noticing them at home.
Luckily, he had a well-child check up not too long after that so we spoke with his doctor. The doctor (whom we feel is a GREAT doctor) felt we should see someone in the Behavioural Health Department at the local children's hospital...and I'm glad we did!
After over 4 hours of testing, interviews with his teacher at the time, interviews with us...he was diagnosed with ADHD/combined type. That means he has the inattentive and hyperactive types. He was almost diagnosed on the Autisim Spectrum but, in the doctors words, "he is WAY too sociable"
Yeah, not really sure why that exclueded him as I know some very sociable autistic people but so be it.
Oh, and he is HIGHLY inteligent. Reads and does math 2 grade levels above his actual grade level (yeah, he went up that extra half a grade level since the last post). Scored in the 99.9 percentile in the visual/spacial reasoning portion of the test. Oh, and they want the test repeated in 18-24 months after the initial test. Why? Because they think the current number it low due to his ADHD and impaired fine motor skills.
So I didn't go to our doctor and tell them he refused to sit still and focus and insisted he needed meds. Trust me, the last thing I wanted to do was put him on another medication (he already takes one for his asthma and another for his reflux) but they help him. He gets the lowest dose and we go up by very small amounts. We have incorporated non-medical things (social skills group therapy, "fidgets", positive reinforcement, etc) with small success.
He isn't a bad kid, he isn't a kid who can sit still for hours at a time (especially without something to do), and he sure as hell isn't being a brat! Don't give me a look because I don't yell at him for "acting out", he shuts down with loud noises so talking to him softly is the best way to handle dicipline with him. And he's my kid, worry about your own life!
It was a long road to get the correct diagnosis for him. Yes, I'm frustrated at the end of the day with him...I'm also mentally exhausted and have very little patience left. Want to spend a day in my life? Want to answer a million questions and hear a million stories that make no sence to you but are told with such passion that you want to understand them? Want to constantly be on alert to make sure your son doesn't hurt himself because he doesn't remember he needs to think before he does and says something? Oh, and don't forget that you still have another child who has her own special needs.
I want to get my son a t-shirt I saw, it says "Spend a day in my brain before you say I don't need meds" Truer words have rarely been spoken.
So for those doctors and parents who over-diagnosis and use the diagnosis as an excuse...thanks for making it harder on those of us who are dealing with an actual diagnosis and trying to raise our ADHD kids to not blame their disease on being a brat. Jerks.
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