I must be weak

Bubba and Diva are really becoming a handful.  Geek hasn't been much help and in fact seems to retreat into his computer games every chance he gets.  So I handle it, I handle it all and feel like shit when I ask him to help out...especially when he spends the time yelling at the kids.  I wonder if being a single mom would be better for all involved.

I don't think I ask much: take the trash out, do the laundry (I fold and the kids put away), clean the bathroom, mow the lawn, and supervise the kids cleaning at times.  Geek will help out more when I'm sick or hurt (I have a slipped disk in my back so throwing it out happens every now and then) but I still do 95% of the child care and cooking.  I cannot imagine how much of a mess things would be if I had an actual job!

Geek can be worse then the kids about leaving things around the house.  He has this bad habit of taking his clothing off and just leaving it where he got changed at.  Drives me nuts!  He is a grown man and I pick up after him more then I do the kids!  And I swear he does things in the worst way possible (like folding laundry or loading the dishwasher) just so I don't ask him to do it again.

The kids needs are wearing me out.  I feel more worn down everyday.  I'm on 24/7.  Even on the few days each month I can sleep in, it doesn't happen.  Someone needs their hair done or can't find something they were looking for (even though they would find it if they moved something!)...see what I mean?  Kids get sick?  Mommy!  Bubba needs nebulizer treatments every 4 hours?  Mommy!  What's Daddy doing?  Probably playing his dumb ass computer game.

I've spoken to him about it many times over our relationship, things change for a few months but then they are right back to where they were before.  I barely have the energy to give to my kids everyday, I defiantly don't have the energy to deal with Geeks computer game addiction.

I must be weak to stay with a big man-child.  I must be weak because my kids medical problems are crushing me...heck, my own medical problems are crushing me!

I just want a few days, totally alone, no husband/kids/cats to take care of.  I don't want to worry about anyone but me and recharge my batteries.  But that will never happen, so I just keep figuring out how to keep functioning.