Diabetes Sucks

I was on insulin and a super-mega strict diet with both my pregnancies.  A few years after Diva was born, I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes.  It really wasn't that much of a surprise to me.  I have PCOS with insulin resistance and it runs very heavily in both my mothers and fathers side of my family.  My mother was adopted so we don't know exactly who developed it after she was given her medical information and she died of cancer in her mid-40s so we don't know if she would have developed it.

My father, his father, his sister, and his grandfather all have/had it.  Did I mention that when I was diagnosed the asshat doctor (not my normal doctor) told me I need to stop with all the cake and cookies.  Yeah, he actually said that.  My own doctor told me that I was basically destined to develop it and me being overweight has very little to do with it.  I agree with this, since the 4 people in my family who have developed it as thin, active people.

Yeah, it's not just a fat-person disease.  And I'm not using this next sentence as an excuse, because I've battled with my weight since I was 8...but the PCOS makes it VERY heard to lose weight.  Hell, when I was in the hospital for DKA before Thanksgiving, the Diabetes Educator asked me if I had PCOS because of where I carry my weight.

Anyway, I take two shots each day and test my sugar at least 4 times each day.  I can't have alcohol, pizza, rice, sushi (due to the rice), pasta, bread, non-sugar free chocolate, baked goods, candy, pretzels, chips, fries...basically all the good things.  Hell, sometimes the stuff I'm "allowed" to eat shoots my sugar up and I don't know why.

Breakfast?  Peanut butter on a graham cracker.

Lunch?  Salad (lettuce, a little cheese, chicken, dressing) and maybe more peanut butter on a graham cracker as a treat.

Afternoon snack?  Yup, more peanut butter and graham cracker.

Dinner?  Chicken/pork/beef, salad, veggie

Night-time snack?  You guessed it, peanut butter on a graham cracker

I drink milk, water, diet iced tea, hot tea with Splenda, and diet soda.  Sometimes, I treat myself with some sugar-free pudding or sugar-free jello.

I sometimes break down and have things I shouldn't...and feel really bad about it after.  

The holidays suck, going out to eat sucks, even just going to someone elses house to visit sucks.  Let's take these one at a time.

Holidays:
Tons of food I can't eat.  Meals at weird times.  Seriously, I need to eat at certain times so I can take my insulin...and I can't indulge because "it's the holidays!"  To me, it's just Tuesday.

Going out to Eat:
It's great that your menu has the calories listed on it, but it doesn't help me.  How many carbs?  How much protein?  How much fat?  This is what I need to know.  So if this stuff isn't listed, I'm left to play "guess the carb count" and I usually lose.  And don't give me that look if I ask for my burger without the bun.

Visiting:
Pretty much the same as holidays.

So there you have it, the reasons why I tend to be miserable.