The Gray Area

I feel like I'm living my life in The Gray Area.

Geek and I are separating...but not really.

Bubba has Autism...but the support groups and other things (apps, books, etc) are for kids with the classic form, which he doesn't have.

Diva has cerebral palsy...but again, any support I can find is for kids with the severe form, her is mild ataxia.

Let's start with Geek and I.  If we didn't have the kids, this would be really easy..."bye!"...but not only do we have the kids (and for their sake we need to stay friendly...not that anything is ugly between us we just realize we aren't working as married parents) but we need to wait until the end of the school year to even tell them on the suggestion of their psychologist.  The last thing we want to do is cause any issues with them finishing out the school year.

Now, the support groups.  I want support from other parents, I want their advice, their tips, their friendship.  Our families really don't understand, some of them try to but until you live it day in and day out you really just don't get it.  For instance, Geeks aunt and mother don't understand why we "insist" on disciplining the kids immediately...I'm not sorry, you cannot take Bubba/Diva with you to do something fun and postpone his/her punishment!  The there is the snide, "Does she really need to sit in her wheelchair?"  Um, yes, if we don't pace her she will tire out and meltdown.  I'm sorry you are embarrassed by the wheelchair and her braces, but tough shit.  Yeah, I'm not sorry about getting rid of my in-laws at all.

I wrote this back in early May.  Over the next few days, I'll be posting  a lot.  I wrote to help me through my emotions, but I didn't want to post anything until I was in a better emotional place.  

"I just want to walk and walk and walk!!!"

Those are the words that came out of Diva's mouth this past weekend...on her second day of wearing her AFOs (leg braces). 

My baby girl, who usually hates talking because it makes her so tired and makes her legs hurt, wanted to walk and walk and walk!

It's enough to make a mom cry...with happiness, of course!

There is a down side, we had to buy her new sneakers (ugh, $50!) because she needs the widest ones available.  By the way, I HIGHLY recommend New Balance shoes and a visit to Stride-rite!  They were so helpful!  But sneakers are the only thing we have found to fit her.  Being a lover of shoes, this has been hard on her, but she understands.  At just shy of 6, this little girl understands that she can either wear whatever shoes she wants or she can have her legs not hurt.

AND!!!  She is getting her toe fixed on Friday.  She is excited because the toe hurts her.  I'm anxious, really anxious.  I'm not sure why, it's not like my kids have never had surgery before.

We are STILL at odds with Bubba's school, nothing really came of our meeting and Geek and I are currently in contact with an attorney.

AND, with all this craziness...wrestling season has started!!

Never a dull moment :0)

Here is the pattern Diva picked out

Here she in in her new AFOs